A: There's a lot of me in Michael. And a lot of other people as well. Most writers work this way, so -- yes -- the question does get tiresome. Every character I've written -- even the wicked ones -- contain elements of my own life and personality. I write fiction but draw on real life to keep it emotionally true. That enables me to reveal embarrassing things about myself but still be somewhat shielded from public scrutiny. It also enables me to change details and make them more interesting for the purposes of the story -- something memoir writers do all the time with relative impunity (unless Oprah catches them.) In the long run, I think the truth is better served by fiction.

Q: The cast of characters from "Tales of the City," to "Michael Tolliver Lives" has a real "family" feel -- family of choice if not by birth. Can you tell us a bit about how these two kinds of families have been important in your own life?

A: Everybody has both kinds of families -- the biological one and the logical one, as Anna Madrigal puts it. My two families will converge on October 4 when my partner Christopher and I are married over in Sausalito. (Our friend Amy Tan, the writer, has kindly lent us her beautiful home for that purpose.) It should be an interesting spectacle -- all those Southern conservative Republicans at a gay wedding. It's not lost on me that this is a big step for them, and I'm appreciative of the fact that they won't let politics get in the way of REAL family values. It won't, of course, stop them from voting for a party that uses homophobia to divide the nation, but at least on a personal level their acceptance is quite heartening. Most of my family back in the South have met Christopher and adore him, and Christopher's family seems to feel the same way about me, since ten of them are showing up. This so-called culture war has always been about love, and love will enable us to win it.

Q: I know you left the South a long time ago, but I wondered -- do you still think of yourself as a Southerner? I sure hope so!

A: I value a lot about the South. Its respect for storytelling made me want to be a writer. I like the civility of Southerners, too (well, most of them), and I still find an almost instant rapport with people who grew up in my neck of the woods. My great great grandfather was Raleigh's only Confederate general, so I couldn't be a yankee if I tried.

Q: When "Tales of the City" took off and led to such a widely read and loved series of books you must have been thrilled and rather surprised too. Can you even imagine where you would be or what you would be doing had those books not changed your life?

A: Yes, thrilled and surprised pretty well describes it, but even if "Tales" hadn't taken off, I would probably have been some sort of storyteller or writer, just a less successful one. And I would certainly be living in San Francisco, because my love of this place preceded my books. It was clear fairly early on that I wouldn't be a lawyer and follow in my father's footsteps.

Q: Do you have any words of wisdom or advice you would like to share with any budding authors out there?

A: Look into every corner of your heart and write about what's there. And don't be afraid to use the messy stuff, but that's what readers remember and respect. The wonderful writer Anne Lamott once wrote about given birth to her son and included the detail that she delivered a small turd along with the baby. I was in awe in her after that; her humanity could not be questioned. By the way, she wrote a marvelous manual for writers called "Bird by Bird" that I still call upon for support from time to time. Writing, for me, is about not losing your nerve -- and continuing to be playful in the process.

Interview Date: September 2008
Profile and questions compiled by Mark B., Main Library